Practically Brothers  A Deathly Hallows Epilogue
by ReeraTheRed
Summary: Lupin and Snape talk after the events of Deathly Hallows. Friendship but no slash. Ch. 5 and Ch. 6 are now both up  COMPLETE. DEATHLY HALLOWS SPOILERS
1. Chapter 1

Title: Practically Brothers – Epilogue

Chapter: 1

Author: ReeraTheRed

Date: July 23, 2007

Rating: PG13

Summary: Post Deathly Hallows. Lupin and Snape both survived. A snippet for the Snupin fans – friendship but no slash. DEATHLY HALLOWS SPOILERS (duh).

Disclaimer: Everything here belongs to J.K. Rowling.

Acknowledgements: This is all my friend Mandrill's fault. Not my best, but she put the bug in my brain about the possibility of Snape surviving, and then I thought of a way Lupin could have survived, and it kind of went on from there.

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Epilogue 

_A/N: This is a sort of final chapter for my Practically Brothers shorts. Imagine that the substance of the Practically Brothers conversations did happen during Harry's sixth year, that Lupin and Snape formed a friendship during that time, which ended because of the events that occurred at the end of Half Blood Prince. Now, it is after the Battle for Hogwarts . . ._

A tall, thin figure, cloaked in black, stood at the edge of a line of trees, staring along the road that lay ahead. In the night darkness, with only the moon for light, the figure could have been just another shadow among the trees.

Only a little bit further, and it would be safe to Apparate. He wanted no one to be able to detect him, and he was still too close to Hogsmeade. But ahead, the road left the trees and went across open country, and he hesitated to leave the cover of the forest.

"Severus!" an anguished voice cried from behind him.

He turned to see a ragged figure running toward him, dirty and unkempt. Someone he never expected to see alive again. Snape froze, eyes wide in astonishment, as the figure stopped just in front of him, to stare in equal amazement.

"You're alive!" they both said at the same time. Then each collected himself, and each stepped back, coloring slightly.

It was Lupin who turned his eyes back first, who spoke first. "Harry told us everything," he said. "He shouted it to Voldemort himself, that you were never his. But we all heard, you had to die . . ."

Snape's lip twitched with the ghost of a smile, his eyes cold. "I was expecting it. Dumbledore and I knew the Dark-" he paused, frowned, and went on "- Voldemort would attempt to kill me, in order to gain control of the wand, or so he thought. I was prepared to survive any number of methods he might choose, so long as it was not the Killing Curse. I'd begun taking anti-venom ever since he got the dratted snake in the first place – he'd used her many times to carry out his executions." His eyes grew distant. "He considered it one of his kinder methods."

Snape looked at Lupin. "But you – you were killed during the battle. I had spying devices in Hogwarts, I saw your body lying in the Great Hall."

"No silver," Lupin said. "Dolohov didn't use silver, that's about the only thing that can kill a werewolf."

Snape nodded.

"I was dead," Lupin said, and he stopped for a moment, remembering, walking through the forest, with Harry, and Lily, James and Sirius. He smiled at the memory. "I can't quite describe it . . ."

"Let me guess," Snape's voice oozed contempt, "you saw a bright light and a voice telling you it wasn't time yet."

"No," Lupin said. Harry had dropped the ring – there had been a ring, he remembered that, and the ring had been important, for some reason, but he didn't know why. "I was . . . someplace else. Then I was back in my body, in the Great Hall. I couldn't move, I wasn't breathing, my heart had stopped, but I could hear everything. I knew that I lay among the dead . . ." His voice broke and he turned his face away. Snape heard him breathe deeply for a moment.

"I awoke when the moon rose," Lupin went on. "I wasn't lucid, and no one was there, in the room where the dead had been laid out. And all I could think – almost all I could think – was of what you had done – I had to find out." He'd had quite a few other things on his mind, of course, but he couldn't do anything about them; the dead were beyond his reach, and the living were asleep. "But when I stumbled into the Headmaster's Office, your portrait wasn't there."

Snape frowned.

"Albus's portrait was there," said Lupin, "and he said, even if someone had been Headmaster for only a day, their portrait would be among those there – in fact, there is a portrait of someone who was Headmaster for all of three hours. But it will only appear after that person is dead."

"I hoped, when I saw that," said Lupin, "and I raced for the Shrieking Shack, and picked up your trail from there." He tapped his nose. "One advantage to being a werewolf."

"Did anyone see you?" Snape asked.

"No," Lupin shook his head. "No one even knows that I'm still alive. I thought you might be dying, slowly, in the Shack, I raced to find you." He looked back up the road, back towards Hogwarts. "They were still collecting the dead all day, and there were so many other things to take care of. The living took precedence mostly, and now they are all resting, they are exhausted."

"I didn't expect to be carried back in a blaze of honor and glory."

"I think Harry would give you that," Lupin said. "He shouted your name like a battle cry against Voldemort."

Snape said nothing, but his head tilted so that his hair fell forward to throw his face in shadow. "It doesn't matter now," he said, and Lupin detected hoarseness in his voice.

"You'll be a hero," Lupin said. "They'll all want to see you."

Snape's face jerked up. "I am not going back. Let them think I am dead."

"But -"

Snape's eyes flashed. "Do you think I could bear to look at them, knowing that they know about me? Do you think I want their pity? Do you think I want to grant them forgiveness? No, Lupin, better I be a dead hero, than a live embarrassment. They'll prefer that."

"It would only be like that at first, Severus," Lupin said. "Yes, it would be awkward, but it would pass. And you can finally live, now."

"Not here," Snape said. "Somewhere else. Anywhere else. But not here." His eyes narrowed. "And you should do the same."

Lupin's eyes shot up to meet Snape's. "What?"

"Isn't it better, that they remember you as a dead hero, than as the pitiful object you are forced to be?"

Lupin stepped back, stung. Then he closed his eyes. "I cannot leave. I have a son; I cannot leave him."

"Are you going to raise him on kibble, then?"

Lupin's eyes flashed. But then he said, a note of despair in his voice, "I don't know. Dora was employed, we could manage with her salary, but now . . ."

"I heard you'd acquired a wife," Snape went on. "I notice you don't mention you have to stay for her."

"She's dead," Lupin said. "Her body lay beside mine in the Hall. I saw her there, when I awoke tonight." His voice waivered.

Snape was quiet for a moment, and then said, "And yet you came running to find me instead of remaining with her."

Lupin shrugged. "A distraction. And I thought I had some way of talking to you, in your portrait. And then I thought you were alive, but in trouble."

"Alive, yes, but out of danger. Did you love her?"

Lupin stared at the ground. "I think so. She certainly loved me, Merlin knows why."

"You two didn't lose any time, I notice."

"She'd . . ." Lupin began, "all that year. I didn't encourage her; I had nothing to offer her, and she is . . . was . . . so young. Merlin, Severus, if I'd been teaching only a year or two earlier, she'd have been one of my students."

"She was one of mine, certainly," Snape said. "She was always very persistent when she put her mind to anything. I take it she wore you down."

"When you . . . when we thought you had murdered Dumbledore," Lupin said. "I thought I'd lost you both. Dumbledore was a loss for us all. And you, all that we had shared, that year, I thought it was all a lie. You had helped make my life bearable, and then you . . ."

Snape stared. For a moment, he looked as if he were about to say something, but no words appeared.

"It was the day of Dumbledore's funeral," Lupin went on. "That's when I didn't send her away, when she came to me." He looked down. "Poor, dear Dora. What a terrible choice she made."

"No, Remus, she showed better judgment in this than I ever gave her credit for," Snape said.

Lupin shrugged. "She became pregnant immediately. I would never have let it go further otherwise. I have lived in horror, at the thought I might pass my curse onto her, even accidentally. She never understood, even after she saw me during the full moon."

"She could be thick-headed," Snape remarked. "And now there is a child."

"Yes," Lupin said. "I have a picture . . ." He fumbled in his jacket, then frowned. "I had one, it must have fallen out during the fighting."

"A werewolf, this child of yours?"

"A half-blooded one," Lupin said. "Werewolves don't usually produce children, but there's every hope he won't be the monster I am. More like an animagus. He'll still have to change at the full moon, and he'll still be contagious, but he won't lose his mind as I do. But we won't know, until he's older."

"Teddy the werewolf," Snape sneered. "I heard of the name you gave him. How adorable."

Lupin flushed. "I was insane, to let it go so far."

"Desperately lonely, perhaps," Snape said. "I am sorry, Remus. Albus knew what was to happen, he ordered me to do it. I could not let you know."

"I understand," said Lupin. "And everyone was hurt, it wasn't just me."

"But you were the only one who missed me, I think."

"Minerva was deeply upset by it, too. The other Hogwarts teachers, too."

Snape was quiet. "There was no choice."

"I know. I can only imagine how this past year has been for you," Lupin said.

"Easier than it might have been," Snape said quickly. "I was back at Hogwarts soon enough. And I still had Albus, after a fashion."

He doesn't want to talk about it, thought Lupin. "You were trying to protect me, weren't you. The night we took Harry from Privet Drive. It was me you chose to follow that night."

"And took out the Weasley boy's ear by mistake," Snape said.

"I think he'd understand," Lupin smiled. "There are others, too, now that we all know, who will want to welcome you back."

Snape shook his head. "They never welcomed me before, even when they knew I was on their side."

"There were those who never trusted you before. But with Harry's endorsement -"

"No, Remus, I would receive their pity, but friendship is not gained that way."

"Give it time. You can still teach at Hogwarts, if you want. Or make a living with your Potions. We spoke of this before. You're free now."

Snape sighed, and leaned back against a tree. "No, Remus. Neither of us are free." He nodded at the towers of Hogwarts that rose above the treetops. "That is a world there where you and I do not belong, and will never belong, because of who and what we are. If we go back, there will come a time when everyone will look at us and say, it would have been better if we had died."

Lupin stared.

"Your son has a chance of belonging, if you let him," Snape went on. "He'll be cared for."

"He's with his grandmother," Lupin said dumbly.

"And knowing you, you made Potter his godfather."

"I'd have made you a godfather as well," Lupin said quickly.

"Spare me," said Snape, his eyes rolling skywards. "And spare the poor boy as well. You'd curse him with me?"

"Severus -"

"But you'll curse him with yourself, if you stay. He'll be an outcast, as you are." Snape leaned closer to Lupin. "Remus, let him have a chance at a real life."

Lupin stared back at Snape. "I said near those very words to Harry. He called me a coward for running out on my child."

"Potter forgets what a curse family can be. He should know better than anyone else," Snape said softly.

Lupin frowned. "Besides, we can't just leave. They'll know we are not dead. They won't find our bodies."

"A mystery, perhaps, but they saw us dead, or so they think."

"Your portrait."

"Albus will tell them that Hogwarts must not consider me worthy to join the Headmasters."

"No!"

Snape frowned. "That's what Albus said when I suggested it. But he has agreed to come up with some story. We planned that I would disappear after this, if I chose to do so. He promised me."

"But he as good as told me that you were alive."

Snape turned away. "He will tell no one else."

"And Hermione will investigate, if I know her."

"She'll have her suspicions, but she won't be able to prove anything. It's near impossible to find a wizard who had decided to hide, where there is no way to trace him."

Lupin stared at Snape. "I will tell them you're alive."

"Not if you come with me," Snape said softly.

Lupin stared at him. "I – I can't," he said, but his voice was hesitant.

"You think there will be a place for you, in this new order?" Snape said. "How much of one was there after Voldemort fell the first time? You will be forgotten, now that you are not needed, just as you were before."

"No," Lupin said, but without conviction.

At that moment, the sky began to grow light, and Snape turned, so that the first, rosy tones of the still hidden sun fell across his pale face.

"Come with me, Remus," Snape said again. "Let them remember us at our best, and forget the weak, imperfect creatures we really are. Let your son be the son of a hero, and not that of a poor, pathetic monster."

Lupin did not answer. The sky turned from grey to red and gold, rosy lights shining on the leaves of the trees around them.

"For his sake," Snape whispered, "and for mine. I cannot face being a hero among them. But I also find it hard to face a strange place, leaving everything I know, with no friend beside me."

Lupin tried to say no, but his mouth would not move. He's being my alpha again, Lupin thought, panic rising. I'm responding to that. He knows how to do that, with me.

Or is it that I want what he's offering?

"I can't run away," Lupin said again, but his voice sounded hollow.

Snape watched him. "Of course you can," he said quietly, his voice a velvet purr. "Just a little farther down the road, and we can Apparate to anywhere in the world we choose."

Lupin was silent, and Snape did not speak further.

The two friends stood together and watched, as the sky turned from soft grey, to rose and gold, and then brilliant white, as the sun disk rose above the horizon and signaled the new day.

TBC

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A/N: I originally thought this would be a one-shot, but I've thought of a second chapter, so this is no longer THE END. 


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Practically Brothers – Epilogue

Chapter: 2

Author: ReeraTheRed

Date: July 26, 2007

Rating: PG13

Summary: Post Deathly Hallows. Lupin and Snape both survived. Friendship but no slash.

Disclaimer: Everything here belongs to J.K. Rowling.

Acknowledgements: This is all Mandrill's fault.

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_A/N: I thought the last chapter was it, and it fits with canon – it's pretty clear in the book that, if Snape and Lupin survived, they disappeared, so that everyone still thought they were dead. But while I can easily believe Snape would leave, Lupin is another matter._

_So, those who want to think that Snape and Lupin disappeared can stop here. For those who don't mind leaving canon behind, read on:_

Chapter 2

_A/N: This starts immediately after Chapter 1._

The sun rose, clearing the tops of the trees. Lupin felt the warmth of it on his face, on his arms, flowing through him, and the despair of last night fell away like a shadow. Never make life decisions when you have just risen from the dead, he thought, and he almost laughed.

"No, Severus," he said. "I must stay."

Snape started, and stared at him.

"It will not be a new beginning if we run away," Lupin said. "We'd leave nothing behind, we'd bring it with us. And we'd bring shame and fear with us as well, always looking behind, afraid of being found out. Running away from what you fear won't help. You have to face it down, or it will control you forever."

Snape frowned.

"More important," Lupin said, "I will not leave the people I love, and who love me. I am proud that they care as much for me as they do, and they mean more to me than my own life." He looked at Snape. "That includes you.

"And as for my son," Lupin went on, "if I were a mere boy, I would agree with you, better to give up my child to a better home. Many young people face that decision and decide to follow that course, and for them it is an honorable one.

"But I am not a child. And if I live in poverty, I am not alone. I have his grandmother to help me. She dotes on him, and she has already agreed to take care of him, should anything happen to Dora or me. But I can still be there in his life."

Snape was frowning deeply now, but he did not interrupt.

"And he will need me, Severus," Lupin said. "We hope his case will not be as extreme as mine, but I will not let him face his transformations alone. Moreover, he will have to face all the prejudice against werewolves whether he is a danger or not, and I have a chance to do what I can, with whatever influence I have won, to make the world a better place for him when he's ready to enter it.

"I am needed, Severus. And I am wanted – you think to play on my old weakness, my own old beliefs that I am only a useless burden. But you and Harry and Dora all showed me that this is not so. I am wanted, and I could never hurt the people I care for by simply leaving with no word. I could not hurt them so.

"So, no, Severus, I will not go." Lupin's face was flushed.

Snape blinked at Lupin in astonishment.

"I've been married for nearly a year," Lupin said, with a shrug, "to a very strong minded woman. I've learned how to argue, and to stand up for myself a little better." A terrible sadness crossed his face for a moment, then it was gone.

"And you, Severus," Lupin said gently, "you must stay as well."

Snape sneered. "Hardly."

"Even if it's only to say good-bye. You owe the others in the Order that much."

"I owe them nothing," Snape said.

"And yet you did everything for them, risked everything."

"I did not do it for them!"

"You did it for Lily, I know."

"Don't you dare use her name with me!"

"And you did it for Albus. And me, I think," Lupin said. "Thank you, Severus."

Snape glared at him.

"But is your obligation over? You swore to protect Harry, didn't you? Lily's child? Your task is not finished. Harry is no longer in danger from Voldemort, but he's still only a boy."

"I think the Weasleys have taken on the position of surrogate parents," Snape said. "They will serve admirably."

"But they can't stand in for Lily and James, as you and I can," Lupin said. "Your promise is not finished. There are many kinds of protection. It is not just fighting monsters and evil wizards. It is living, each day. That they know you are there, even if they don't think they need you."

"Oh, I'm certain Potter will clasp me in his arms."

"I wouldn't be surprised," Lupin said. "You can tell him more about his mother than anyone else. And I think he's finally realized that you were always there, to protect him, to watch over him." Lupin smiled. "That's what I want to be for my own boy, as well as Harry."

"Your sentimentality is making me ill, Lupin," Snape said in a low growl.

"I'm not saying march openly back to Hogwarts, you know," Lupin said. "Though you are needed, of course. With all the injured, I know the potions stocks must be low. Madame Pomfrey is probably beside herself. And St. Mungo's has got to be overflowing – Hogwarts isn't the only place there has been fighting.

"You could go quietly down to the Potions dungeon," Lupin went on. "Or back to your own home, or to my cottage. You don't have to speak to anyone. I'll let everyone know you survived, you don't have to face that, I know that would be too much."

"I'd think you'd have blocked me from your cottage."

"Easy enough to change," Lupin said. "We can go together, if you want to stay there for now." He studied Snape. I never did know where his home was, he thought.

"Or did you plan to leave in a blaze of glory?" Lupin asked. "The dead hero, knowing everyone would mourn you and blame themselves, and say how sorry they were? Is that what you wanted? You could listen in at your own memorial, hear the speeches."

Lupin noticed Snape's fists clench at that. Of course it's what he wanted, Lupin thought.

"Come with me, Severus," Lupin said. "The day has finally come. It is all over, just as we talked about. You can still travel the world, if you finally decide that is what you want to do. But finish things here. Or they will haunt you forever, and you'll never be free."

Snape looked at Lupin, but Lupin could read nothing in his eyes.

Lupin held out his hand. "We can go back to my home. Or back to Hogwarts. I'll go with you, either way. I'm sure we can find a spare room at Hogwarts. And you'll know, better than I, the state of the Potions stocks. If you think you could help Madame Pomfrey out."

Snape stared at Lupin's hand, and sniffed. "Don't treat me like a child, Lupin."

Lupin put his hand down. "Well, I'm going back." He gave a lopsided smile. "I'm going to have to face them realizing I'm alive, too. I understand why you want to avoid that." And Dora, Lupin thought. I've postponed facing her loss.

The image of her still form, lying besides his, flashed in his mind. His head spun, and he stumbled. He would have fallen if Snape hadn't caught him.

"Sorry," Lupin said, weakly. "I've never come back from the dead before. I think I've exhausted my strength." He looked wistfully up the road. "I'm not sure I can manage the walk." He tried to step forward, and stumbled again. An onlooker might have wondered if the motion weren't somewhat exaggerated.

Snape shot him a look of exasperated annoyance and heaved an outraged sigh. "All right, Lupin, I'll help you back. We can't have you fainting on the road, can we?"

"Thank you, Severus," Lupin said meekly.

"Just to the gates, and no farther," Snape growled. "After that, I'm turning around and heading back."

"I appreciate it," Lupin said, as Snape pulled Lupin's arm over his shoulder. Lupin leaned on him gratefully, and they walked slowly back up the road.

"So," Lupin said, conversationally, as he tried to match Snape's long stride, "all this time, you told me you couldn't do a Patronus."

"So Harry announced that to everyone, did he." Snape still radiated annoyance.

"How much else was a lie?" Lupin asked. "I'm not criticizing, you understand, I'm just asking. I know you had to deceive everyone to survive."

Snape merely grunted as Lupin knocked against him as they walked together.

"You're a half blood," Lupin went on. "So all your talk of being ignorant of Muggle ways was smoke."

"Not so much as you'd think," Snape said. "We didn't even own a television, and my mother knew next to nothing about Muggles. I really had little knowledge of Muggle culture until you showed it to me."

"But you did wear jeans," Lupin said.

"Oh yes," Snape said. "What a dreadful memory. I always hated going back home."

Lupin turned his head to look at Snape's face, but all he could see was the lank curtain of hair.

They reached the two pillars marking the gates to Hogwarts, and Snape stopped. "There," he said, nodding at the school ahead. "It's only a bit further."

Lupin pulled his arm from around Snape's shoulders, took a step forward, and fell down to the ground. He looked around helplessly at Snape, who glared back.

"Um, if you could just get me to the infirmary," Lupin said. "It's so early, there won't be anyone up and around yet. Not many, anyway. You could just sneak in, no one will see you."

"I'm leaving," Snape said, as he pulled Lupin up. "You understand that. As soon as I get you back to Madame Pomfrey, I'm leaving. You can tell them what you like." He got Lupin's arm back around his shoulder again.

"Madame Pomfrey will want you to check over the potions stocks -"

"Madame Pomfrey can go to blazes," snarled Snape.

He'll look, Lupin thought. He won't be able to stand it. He's very proud of his potions skills, and he won't have been able to show them off all year. Just let him get back, to his familiar places.

I never did play him any Wagner, I'll have to do that.

And, accompanied by muttered curses against all idiot werewolves who insisted on overdoing when any sane person would have stayed in bed, the two figures, one black and one ragged brown, lurched together up the path to the towers of Hogwarts.

TBC

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_A/N: It's easier to kill characters like these two off, rather than have to deal with their lives. These two have severe problems, after all. But I love them, and I want them to survive, in every sense of that word._

_I don't have any plans to re-write my other fics to make them HBP and DH compatible (if nothing else, I'd have to take out Dumbledore, and I refuse to do that ), but I guess this is sort of a strange, multi-universe bridge between Practically Brothers and The Wounded._


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Practically Brothers – Epilogue

Chapter: 3

Author: ReeraTheRed

Date: July 30, 2007

Rating: PG13

Summary: Post Deathly Hallows. Lupin and Snape both survived. Friendship but no slash.

Disclaimer: Everything here belongs to J.K. Rowling.

Acknowledgements: Thanks to everyone who's left reviews. I see some familiar names, too – nice to hear from you all again. I guess we're all dealing with post-Potter depression.

* * *

Chapter 3

Dawn light filled the Great Hall as Snape half-carried Lupin inside. Lupin was leaning on him even more heavily now, and he had stopped talking. Snape would have levitated him if he weren't concerned about alerting anyone to his presence by performing the spell.

Hogwarts was still; the only people Snape saw were the dead, who lay in the annex to the Great Hall. Snape turned his head away quickly. Just a little farther to the infirmary. He'd have to face Poppy, but only as long as it took for her to get Lupin off his hands. Lupin's head was pressed against his shoulder now, and his face had turned grey.

The infirmary was full, with everything from students to House Elves; even a centaur lay on a pile of blankets over on one side. More beds had been conjured, spaced so close together that there was barely room to walk between them.

Snape stopped at the entrance, trying to see how to work his way back to Poppy's office so he could call her, when he saw her, in her dressing gown, by one of the beds. Another person stood with her; one look at the tartan pattern of her dressing gown and Snape had a sudden desire to drop Lupin and run, before she saw him.

But both of them turned, and both saw him; he saw the shock in their faces. Poppy's hands flew to her mouth.

Minerva stood stock still, her face turning pale. "Severus," she said. Then she caught her breath, and she scrambled through the rows of beds, her dressing gown flying around her thin legs, until she reached him and threw her arms around him. "Oh, Severus," she said.

Snape stood stiffly, frowning. She pulled back and saw Lupin's face. "And Remus!" she cried, lifting his head in her hands.

"Hello, Minerva," Lupin croaked, trying to smile.

"Lupin is still very ill," Snape said.

"Of course," Minerva said. "Poppy, can we fit another bed in here?"

Poppy was already waving her wand. All the beds bunched just a little bit closer together, and a new one appeared beside them. Poppy glided easily between the other beds while Snape and Minerva helped Lupin lie down.

Poppy ran her wand over him, muttering to herself. "Lucky for you," she said, "you were hit by a curse that would have killed a normal human being. But don't think you're out of danger yet."

She summoned a bottle and glass, poured a measure, and handed it to Lupin, who took it with a thank you, and swallowed it down. "Now try to sleep, Remus," Poppy said. "You're going to be here for a while." She patted his hand and watched him as the potion took effect and he fell asleep.

"And you, don't even think of slipping off," she said to Snape, who had been edging away, intending to do just that. "Sit," she said, gesturing at the foot of Lupin's bed. "Do it!" she said, when Snape looked about to refuse. Snape stared back at her, but schoolboy reflexes betrayed him and he sat.

She waved her wand over his head, and frowned. "Nasty amount of venom you had to counteract. I'd order you to rest as well, but we need you."

"Set the students to brewing your potions," Snape said.

"The students!" Poppy said. "They can't manage it now. That's seventh year business, and you know yourself how poor their instruction has been this last year. And he-" she nodded at Lupin, "he's going to need Wolfsbane soon, or the change could finish him. And I could use your help here as well. I'd try for extra help from St. Mungo's, but they can't spare anyone."

"Come, Severus," Minerva said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I'll get a House Elf to help fetch ingredients for you."

"Not 'til he takes a dose himself," Poppy said, summoning another bottle and glass. "Or we'll have you lying next to him." She looked at Snape, and smiled for the first time. "We don't want to lose you again."

Snape glared at her on general principle before he downed the potion. He had to admit, he did feel better immediately afterwards.

He turned to Minerva, who stood over him. She looked as if she still couldn't believe he was there. He was caught at how frail she looked, no longer the stern, imposing teacher who'd commanded the classroom, but an old, thin woman, her skin as fragile as paper. He was astonished to see a tear spill from one eye and trickle slowly down her cheek.

"I'm so sorry, Severus," she said. "If I had only known . . . I drove you away; you had to run because we-"

"You could not know," Snape said, coldly. "You saw what I intended you to see, and that camouflage was dearly bought. You are not to blame."

She shook her head. "Well, I'm glad you're alive. And I'm glad you came back. Something else that's good, after all this. You and Remus." She smiled, and for a moment looked much younger. Another tear followed the first, and she wiped it away with her hand, and gave her head a shake. "Don't worry, I won't ask you to talk about it. Though I should have suspected something, the way you managed to lessen all the physical punishments those two wanted to inflict."

"I assumed you simply considered me a fool," said Snape.

Minerva gave a laugh and shook her head. "Oh no," she said. "Not you. Never a fool. No, you always did stick to verbal punishments. You just managed to make them seem as terrible as any physical torture."

"Believe me," Snape said, softly, "they are not."

"I know, I know," Minerva said. "You are quite the master of misdirection. I suppose you've had to be. Poor Severus." She smiled again. "Well, it's all over, and you're back with us now."

He stared back at her. Then he said, quietly, "I believe I'm expected to replenish the medicines."

She nodded. "I'll tell everyone that you and Remus are alive." She gave him a crooked smile. "Don't worry, I'll also tell them not to bother you. Though Harry will want to see you, I know."

Snape stiffened.

"And yes," Minerva said, gravely, "I saw those memories of yours. Harry left them in the Pensieve."

Now Snape turned pale.

"Don't worry, I don't think anyone else did, besides myself and Harry. I only saw them because I've moved back into the Headmaster's Office temporarily. Please forgive me Severus, but I thought you were dead, and I had to know. In a way, I knew a lot of it already." She gave him a nod. "I'll just go get them for you, shall I?"

Snape nodded, stifling the impulse to gulp.

She placed her hand on his shoulder again. "There's too much work now to do, for all of us. Just as well." She looked down at Remus, lying still on the bed again. "He'll need you," she said. "Tonks is dead, so many others." She caught herself. "I'll be back. We need to see to the living first."

Snape watched her cross the room, her tartan dressing gown a splash of color in the grey room, and then, with a sigh, he rose, and headed to the storeroom.

"You'll want to check on the Potions lab and order supplies," Poppy called. "And I'll need a hand here, with the patients, for the next few days. That should see most of them right. You'll stay for that long, I should think."

Snape started to protest, then stopped, too tired to argue. He simply nodded.

He stopped just the storeroom, staring at the depleted shelves, but not seeing. For a moment, the walls seemed to close in on him, and he wanted to race through the halls and out the door and fly away as swiftly as he could, as far away as he could go. To the ends of the earth, just to be away from here.

But Lupin was right. Any freedom he found that way would be an illusion. Everything would follow him, he carried everything inside him. There was no getting away from any of it, not while he lived. But could he stay?

For now, at least, there was work. He always could lose himself in work. There were those here who might die without his help. He quickly noted the status of the most needed potions, and prepared to head down to the Potions Laboratory.

Better to finish things here. There would be time afterwards, to decide.

TBC

* * *

_A/N This should segue into The Wounded from here._


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Practically Brothers – Epilogue

Chapter: 4

Author: ReeraTheRed

Date: August 5, 2007

Rating: PG13

Summary: Post Deathly Hallows. Lupin and Snape both survived. Friendship but no slash.

Disclaimer: Everything here belongs to J.K. Rowling.

Acknowledgements: Thanks for all the reviews (I see I'm not the only one who needed a bit more closure).

x-x-x

Chapter 4

Lupin woke. Above him was the all too familiar ceiling of the Hogwart's infirmary. As he pulled himself up, he wondered if James, Sirius and Peter would be by to visit him that day, and then he remembered.

"Remus," Madame Pomfrey's voice spoke from close by, and he turned and saw her coming towards him, navigating between the closely packed beds.

"How long have I been asleep?" he asked.

"All day," said Madame Pomfrey. "It's nearly dinner time." She waved her wand over him and nodded in satisfaction. "Several people have been by to see you – Harry, Hermione and Ron, in particular. And Neville."

"I'm sorry I missed them," said Lupin.

"There'll be time," said Madame Pomfrey. "You can leave the infirmary, but I want you to stay on here at Hogwarts, or close by at least, until after the next full moon. And no Apparating anywhere for a quick visit, either. You can floo out, but that's all."

She Summoned a bottle and poured out a potion dose for him, which he drank. "There will be regular potions for you for a while," she said. "Next dose will be tomorrow morning." She looked at him, and a smile warmed her face. "I can't tell you how glad I am that you're back with us, Remus."

He smiled back at her. "Thank you, Poppy," he said. They were old friends, after all. She'd taken care of him for all his boyhood years at Hogwarts.

"There's something you can do for me," she said, speaking carefully. "Severus is down in the Potions lab, still. I don't want him working too hard, either, he's also been through a great deal. He's finishing up a last batch for me now, and anything else can wait until tomorrow. I'd appreciate it you could look in on him." She gave him a significant look. "Maybe you should bring him something to eat, and get him to rest."

Lupin nodded. "I'll look after him." Snape would almost certainly not want to eat in the Great Hall tonight.

She nodded. "Consider that your current assignment." She looked him up and down. "A wash and a change of clothes is what I'd advise for you now – you're welcome to whatever you can find in the guest room stores for clothes."

He looked down at himself ruefully. He was still covered in dirt and blood from the day before. Or was it two days before?

"And make sure Severus does the same," she said.

Lupin nodded. Snape could forget about everything – eating, sleeping, washing – if he were engaged in a project.

He stood up carefully, and made his way to the exit, passing by the many beds. He saw so many familiar, sleeping faces, but at least they were here, and not among the dead near the Great Hall.

He reached the corridor where the guest quarters were located, and a door swung open a little ways down the hallway. He quickly cleaned himself up, and changed his torn clothes for a set of robes that appeared in the closet – second hand, left by a guest of who knows how long ago. Hogwarts stored everything. The robes were plain brown, a little worn, but they would serve.

He stood by the fireplace, nerving himself up, and then threw a handful of floo powder in. Andromeda was there, by her fireplace, her face pale and drawn, her eyes red. Teddy was in her lap. She managed to smile when she saw Lupin, but he knew he was no substitute for the husband and child she had lost. He kept his talk brief, letting her know he had no intention of taking Teddy away from her, and he could see the relief in her eyes. Andromeda held Teddy close to the fire, and Lupin thought the baby smiled at him, though he was still so young, it was hard to tell. He would come for a proper visit soon, he told them, as he said good-bye.

From there, he went to the kitchens, where the House Elves insisted on giving him a hamper of food that was so heavy he was forced to levitate it rather than carry it, given his still weakened state. Then he made his way down to the Potions dungeon.

He knocked on the door, and it opened. He went in, and saw Snape in the process of sealing a lid onto a small cauldron. An owl stood close by, waiting expectantly to take it on to the store room. Snape whirled, alarmed, then his face relaxed as he recognized Lupin.

"Hello, Severus," Lupin said. "I've brought you some supper, and Madame Pomfrey's orders that you get some rest." He nodded at Snape, whose robes were as torn and filthy as his own had been – their black color could not hide the blood stains. "She has also ordered a wash and a change of clothes."

Snape frowned, and glared – his normal response to anyone giving him an order – which changed to a look of resignation as he said, "Very well." He handed the cauldron to the owl, who took the handle in its beak and flew out a window that opened to let it out, then shut after it. Windows in a dungeon room? Lupin wondered. But this was Hogwarts, after all.

Snape frowned now, and stared at the work-table. Then he looked up. "I am not spending the night at Hogwarts, Lupin," he said. "I will prepare potions for Madame Pomfrey, but I cannot stay here."

"You'll have to face everyone eventually," Lupin said.

"Not tonight," Snape said. He nodded at the fireplace. "I'm going . . . home. You are welcome to accompany me. Bring that." He nodded at the hamper that floated behind Lupin.

Snape walked to the fireplace, and made some complicated passes in front of it. "This will allow you to follow me," he said. "I've had the way blocked to anyone but me, up until now." He took a pinch of floo powder from a jar on the mantle. "Ask for Spinners End," he said. With that, he stepped into the fireplace, tossed the powder, and vanished.

Lupin maneuvered the hamper into the fireplace and took a handful of powder. "Spinners End," he said, tossing the powder, and green flames exploded around him.

When he pulled the hamper out of the flames, he found himself in a tiny, dark sitting room – the only light coming from one dingy window. Snape stood before him, waiving his wand, and, overhead, candles burst into flame in a lamp than hung from the ceiling. Another wave, and the fireplace behind Lupin also roared into life.

In the flickering light, Lupin got a better look at the room. The walls were lined with books, floor to ceiling. The room was full of their musty smell. The only furniture consisted of an old sofa, a chair and a table. This is even smaller than my cottage, Lupin thought.

"I can set up dinner while you wash up," Lupin said. "Take your time, you covered in dried blood. And if you bring me those robes afterwards," he nodded at the black robes Snape was wearing, "I'll see what I can do about washing and repairing them." He smiled ruefully. "I've had rather a lot of experience at that."

Snape stared at him, and then nodded. "I'll be along this way, then." He did not go towards any stairway, but towards a door that Lupin thought must lead to the kitchen. He heard another door open from there, and then heard the sound of outdoor rumblings. The bath is outside, he thought. Water that he heats with his own magic, and that Muggles would have heated with an old boiler and a fire.

He went to the window and peered outside. He saw a dirty street, and a row of slovenly, terraced houses, many with windows boarded up. In the distance, he saw an ancient mill smokestack, rising up into the darkening sky. A couple of boys came up the street, with grimy, thin faces, wearing faded hand-me-down clothes that didn't fit. They glanced at the front of Snape's house, and they began to run, barreling past the door, their faces suddenly pale. Only once they were safely past did they slow down, and even then, they glanced back over their shoulders.

Lupin turned away from the window. He pulled out his wand and, with a wave, banished the dust on the furniture, then began to set up dinner on the table. He noted a number of spell-made repairs on the table's rickety legs, plus a strengthening spell or two; the same was true for the sofa and chair, which looked even more ancient than the furniture in his own home.

Snape came back eventually, his hair wet and plastered against his long skull. He had changed into clean robes, old and faded to a dark charcoal. He looked years older than he was, tired and worn, and he collapsed into the old chair and gave a nod at the sofa.

Lupin sat down on the sofa, and each began to serve himself from the various dishes laid out on the table. Snape pulled out a bottle of butterbeer. "Nothing stronger in there, I suppose," Snape said, a trifle wistfully.

"I don't think Madame Pomfrey would allow it," Lupin said.

"Pity," Snape said. "There's nothing here in the house, either." He poured his butterbeer into a mug and took a hefty swallow.

"Probably just as well," Lupin said, taking a bite from a sandwich. He glanced around the room. "Is this is where you grew up?"

Snape nodded. "Yes." He took another large swallow from his mug. "And yes, I know, it explains a lot about me. I escaped the local school, at least. My mother Confunded the school officials and kept me off their records. She taught me at home."

"Which is why you don't speak with the local accent," Lupin said.

Snape nodded. "Oh yes. My mother drilled proper English into me. We were better than that." He gave a sarcastic emphasis to the word "better."

"I'll bet that endeared you to the neighborhood children."

"Didn't it, though."

Lupin nodded. "Now I understand why you knew so many hexes when you came to school."

An ugly, little gloating smile flickered across Snape's face. "The Muggle boys learned to leave me alone quickly enough. But my life was sheer hell before that."

A skinny, awkward boy who loved books, was smarter than everyone else on the block, spoke with an upper class accent, and never learned to keep his mouth shut about it. Yes, thought Lupin, your life would have been a nightmare. Even without the parents I know you had, because Harry told me about those memories he pulled from your head.

"I can see why you didn't care for Muggles," Lupin said, "if that was all you saw."

"There were times when I went looking for them, you know," Snape said, staring into the fire. "Whenever I invented a new hex. They all learned to run whenever I came by. Even the bigger boys." The same ugly, gloating smile appeared. "Especially the bigger boys."

"You were bullied -"

"And I became an even greater bully," Snape said. "Though mostly I did not bother with them. They learned to stay out of my way."

"You were a child, and it was all you knew."

"The same could be said for my tormentors, who became my victims," Snape said. "I could have at least stopped them from attacking others. I did not. They were only Muggles, little better than animals in my view. I considered myself above them." He sat quietly for a moment, then said, "I wonder what has happened to them. Most of them left, when the mill shut down."

"But you stayed," Lupin said.

"I stayed at Hogwarts," Snape said. "I only came back here in the summer. I knew no wizard would find me here." Another swig from his mug, and a shrug. "Besides, I couldn't afford to leave."

He leaned back further into the chair, and looked down at his old robes and worn boots. "So here I am. Here is my magnificent destiny. There was a time when I thought I would rule the world. I would leave poverty and misery behind me, I would grind my tormentors into dust. But here I am, no more than I ever was."

Lupin tilted his head. "I think ruling the world sounds like far more trouble than it's worth," he said, with a little smile.

The corners of Snape's mouth flickered. "That's what minions are for."

Lupin smiled deeper. "But it's so hard to get good minions these days."

Snape's mouth flickered again, and he took a swallow of butterbeer.

"It's enough trouble," Lupin said, "to rule our own lives. That is kingdom enough, isn't it?"

"Did you ever look into the mirror of Erised?" Snape asked.

"Once," Lupin said. "You can guess what I saw. Myself, no longer a werewolf, surrounded by all my old friends and family."

"How did you know you weren't a werewolf?" Snape asked, reaching for another sandwich.

"The full moon shone overhead," Lupin said. "But I knew, even without that. I looked healthy, and strong. I was a teacher, too – I had my class notes in my hand."

"I wouldn't dare look into it," Snape said. "I couldn't bear what I would see."

"Would it still be the same?" Lupin said. "I'd think that you'd have seen different things, at different times in your life."

Snape shook his head. "No," he said. "No. It would have always shown me the same thing."

Lupin looked sadly at him. "Lily?" he asked.

Snape nodded, his damp hair falling across his face. "Every plan I made, growing up, I made with her in mind," he said. "If I wanted to rule the world, it was to lay it at her feet." He shrugged. "I admit, her glowing admiration also figured into it."

"She wouldn't have wanted the world at her feet," Lupin said.

"No," Snape said. "And I was too blind to see it. I was blind in so many ways." He stared down at his shabby boots. "But what else did I have to offer her? I was not handsome or charming, I was not rich, I wasn't a Quidditch star."

"You were the brightest student in the school," Lupin said. "I could come close to you in Defense Against the Dark Arts, maybe, but no one could match you in Potions. Or Charms, as I recall."

"And I resented your competition," Snape said. "But no, brains didn't seem to be working. She wasn't the type to sit on the sidelines and gush over my brilliance, after all."

"No," Lupin said. "She wasn't the gushing type." Lily was already falling for James even in fifth year, he thought. She tried to deny it, she insulted him whenever she had the opportunity, but we all saw it. Surely Severus did, too.

"She would have stayed my friend," Snape said, "if I hadn't driven her away. But she would never have gone further than that."

"Could you have borne that?" Lupin asked. "Being only her friend, if she had still gone with James." He took a deep breath. "I did."

Snape's eyes flicked up to meet Lupin's. "At least you never lost her friendship."

"But she was James's," Lupin said. "As you said for yourself, what did I have to offer her? But that wouldn't have mattered, not to her. I knew that. She went with James because he was the better match for her."

Snape drained the last of his butterbeer. He spoke a word, and the mug filled up again, and he took another deep swig.

"I didn't see it," he said. "I can see it now. I have studied every memory I have of her, over and over, and watched my idiot young self, missing every sign she gave me." He took another deep swallow. "I didn't lose her. I drove her away. I couldn't understand it at the time. Now I do, all too well."

"We're all idiots when we're that young," Lupin said.

"But people don't usually die because we are young idiots," Snape said. "I as good as killed her myself."

"No, Severus," Lupin said. "Voldemort killed her. You would never have harmed her. I know you tried to save her."

"She wouldn't have been in danger in the first place if it weren't for me," Snape said.

"We were all in danger, all the time," Lupin said. "We were at war. And you didn't know you were endangering her, when you brought the Prophecy to Voldemort."

"I thought I brought him a warning," Snape said, "of some distant and unknown hero." He looked up at Lupin. "I swear to you, I didn't think it meant that a child was in danger. I thought it meant someone already grown. A terrible enemy. An equal.

"And then, when I realized, what it really meant . . ." Snape broke off, and Lupin saw his entire body tense. He has been through this, over and over in his mind, Lupin thought. Re-living it, torturing himself with it. Then Snape took a deep breath, and his body relaxed, but Lupin did not see any signs of relief, more like exhaustion.

"I blamed Potter for a long time," Snape said. "Even for her death. If he hadn't . . . that day, the day she broke with me." He looked down, his long hair falling forward, then up again, his face fierce. "I never used that word, you know. Ever. I may have hated Muggles, but I never believed that it meant a wizard was less of a wizard, though I hated it in myself, I was ashamed of my father. I certainly heard it, often enough, though, from my fellow school-mates, and I didn't contradict them." He gave a grim smile. "You weren't the only one who failed to stop your friends from doing great harm, Remus, even though you knew they were wrong. But I never said it. I never believed it.

"And then," Snape went on, "I don't know how, it flew out of my mouth, to her, of all people." His voice was hoarse. "I have wanted to re-live that day, you can't imagine."

"You were upset," Lupin said. "You had good reason. That day is one of my worst memories, too. I knew James had gone too far." He looked down. "He never forgave you for following us to the Shrieking Shack. For my sake, the danger it put me into. And that you knew my secret." He shrugged. "And that you were Lily's friend. That ate at him bitterly. He was so jealous."

A look of hatred crossed Snape's face, but then it faded, and he shrugged. "But I know now, that, if it hadn't been that – that day, it would have still happened," Snape said. "Even if I could have erased that day, there would have been another. She was already looking for an excuse to break with me, I think. We had been growing apart for so long before that. I can see that now."

"Would knowing it then have changed anything for you?" Lupin asked.

"I don't know." A pale hand gripped the side of the chair tightly for a moment. "I certainly didn't change. And I think she would have taken me back, if I had. But no, it took the danger to her to make me really see the truth about the path I had chosen. Would I have been able to change then? Would I have been able to change my beliefs?"

His hands slid to his lap. "I still want as little to do with the Muggle world as possible, though that may be because most of the Muggle world is a complete mystery to me. I had so little access, because of my family's poverty." He leaned his head back against the chair. "In the wizard world, I have talents and recognized achievements, though they may be of dubious repute. I have gained power, even though I lost it. But in the Muggle world, I am nothing." His voice took on a rough North country accent. "Tha' creepy Snape lad, never had nothin', never came to nothin'."

"That's what Muggles think about all of us," Lupin said, "if they happen to know us as neighbors - they think we're all unemployed and disreputable. And we take great care that they do think that, so they'll leave us alone."

"But in my case, it was true. We had so little, I never saw a movie, or a television program," Snape said. "My mother knew nothing of Muggles, so she didn't know to show me anything. She ran the house with witchcraft, as best she could. As far as I knew, Muggles were ignorant, without beauty, without learning, without art." He frowned. "Instead, I might as well be speaking of myself."

"That's not true, Severus," Lupin said. "As you said, you have talents, and achievements."

"And nothing to show for any of them." Snape stared fiercely at his knees.

"Not entirely," Lupin said. He gave a wry smile. "I suspect the Ministry is going to give us all medals, just like last time."

"What?" Snape looked up.

"You never got one before, but I'm sure you will this time. So there's an achievement for you," Lupin said. "It's not ruling the world, but it's recognition."

"For betraying people I've known since boyhood?" Snape said. "For working to destroy someone who trusted me?"

"Who tried to kill you," Lupin said. "Without regret."

"Oh, he regretted it," Snape said, his voice very quiet. "He regretted it, as much as he was capable of such an emotion. I was the closest thing to a loved one that he had, and I betrayed him."

"I always thought," Lupin said, carefully, "that losing Lily was what made you really turn to the Death Eaters. I thought you were friends with a lot of them, you shared a dorm room with them, you grew up with them, but you never really joined in. Lily was your real friend."

"I think," Snape said softly, "I think I went half mad, when she broke with me. But I don't know, whether even she would have kept me from joining with . . . with Him, with Voldemort."

Lupin was silent.

"I wanted . . ." Snape said, "What did I want? Everything. Knowledge. Power. Voldemort showed me wonders you cannot imagine. And I have always been ready to see what I wanted, whether it was there or not. And not to see what I did not want to see."

"We all do that," Lupin said. "Especially when we're young."

"Not many so badly as I," Snape said. "I have a gift for self-delusion." He drew his knees up closer, like a boy. "I asked Albus once, if there was anything I could do, or say, that might make Voldemort see, as I had finally learned to see, the folly of his course, the horror of it. I thought, if anyone could, I could do it. I had that kind of influence with him." He looked over at Lupin. "Does that surprise you?"

Lupin shook his head. "You are a remarkable man, Severus. I've always known that. And I'm sorry, I wish you could have swayed him. Voldemort was also a remarkable man. Had he turned his talents to good, he could have done so much."

"He didn't even recognize the terms of good or evil," Snape said. "Or love. The deaths he caused were always regrettable to him, if they were wizard blood, but no more than that. And he saw Muggles as sub-human filth."

"Did you know he was half-Muggle himself?" Lupin asked.

"Not while I was his," Snape said. "Albus told me." He drew his knees even closer. "I have wondered, if the experiments he performed on himself weren't only to strengthen his body, to prolong his life. I've wondered if he were trying to remove all traces of his Muggle blood from his physical body."

Lupin sucked in his breath.

"Everything that was base in us," Snape went on, "he saw as coming from our Muggle genes. For all of us are part Muggle, after all. I think he may have believed even our very mortality came from our Muggle-tainted blood."

Merlin, what did that man do to himself? thought Lupin.

"I was the privileged one," Snape said. "He shared confidences with me that he shared with no one else. I could understand him, his vision, but more than that, his knowledge. I could appreciate his researches, his discoveries, in a way no one else could." His gloating smile flickered again. "Bellatrix was so jealous. She was certain we were lovers. She never understood, he cared nothing for that. The indulgences of the flesh were as much a weakness as love. Only the mind had value for him." Snape's eyes unfocused, and he said, almost dreamily, "We would talk for hours about the principles of magic, about theories. About the soul and its continuance. I was going to live forever, beside him, and we would create paradise."

Lupin stared at his friend. There was a light in Snape's eyes now, his face had lifted, and his hair had fallen back.

"It wasn't all about purging the Wizard race," Snape said, "or enslaving the Muggles." He raised his eyebrows. "Not that I wasn't all for that. I had a list of people, and appropriate fates." He looked thoughtful. "Merlin, I haven't thought of that in a while." He stifled a shudder.

"But no," Snape went on, "it was so much more than that. He spoke of the world he wanted to create. He saw a world of such beauty, where wizards could walk openly – no more skulking in ugly abandoned buildings and isolated holdings. He saw gleaming streets and beautiful towers, not these dreadful monstrosities the Muggles build today. Magic everywhere. All knowledge open to everyone, nothing forbidden." Snape paused, and stared at his knees again. "He never understood the Dark Arts – why they were considered Dark. He didn't understand why they were wrong. For a while, I didn't either. Knowledge is knowledge, what harm is there in knowing?

"I wasn't the only one he spoke to of this, of course," Snape said. "But I was the one whose company he sought. I understood things better, or so I thought. In the end I realized, I didn't understand what he wanted at all. What he was willing to do, to bring his utopia into being. What it would really mean." He shook his head, trying to find the right words. "I knew in theory, what was necessary. But when the first attacks began, and I saw the reality . . ."

"You were a boy," Lupin said. "I think we all had some ugly fantasies we played with, when we were boys, and miserable. We just never ran into anyone who could make them reality. And you turned against him, when you saw what it meant."

"Yes," Snape said, softly. "In one day, my beautiful future came crashing down. Once he decided to go after Lily. I promised Albus anything, if he could save her. That was the beginning, that was all I could face then. Her protection. But afterwards, as I passed information to Albus, for that was his price, I knew, Voldemort must be stopped. That he was insane."

Snape's voice turned hoarse. "If I'd only had the words, to make him see. I kept thinking, he might listen. He did care about me, in his own way."

"And yet he very nearly killed you," Lupin said, quietly.

"He was desperate," Snape said. "Potter had killed all but the last Horcrux – I didn't know that at the time, but I do now. He would never have done it if he thought he had any other choice." Snape closed his eyes for a moment. "I was the closest thing he had to a son, and yet, all that time, I was looking for any opportunity I could to destroy him. What kind of man does that make me?"

"A man who had no choice," Lupin said. "Who saw the terrible things that needed to be done, and had the courage and willpower to see them through."

Snape snorted. "Don't even speak to me of courage," he said. "Or honor, or wisdom, or love." He shook his head again.

Lupin watched him quietly.

"I have blamed so many people, for the path my life has taken," Snape said. "My father, and the impoverished life he forced on me. My mother, for failing to shield me. James Potter and Sirius Black. And you," he nodded at Lupin, "and the bastard, Pettigrew. Albus, for his distance and his manipulation. Lucius, and all my other childhood friends, for their ignorance and malice. Voldemort," Snape shook his head at that last name, then his eyes went bleak. "Even Lily," he whispered.

He stared down at his knees. "Now, I blame only myself, and even that . . ." He hung his head. "I cannot live, with this blame. Is it so terrible of me, to want to put it aside? I do not think I can hope for forgiveness, not from myself. But perhaps I can forget, a little."

"Lily would forgive you," Lupin said. "I think it would please her, to see you happy."

Snape shook his head. "Don't bring that image of her to me. I don't deserve it. I'm not ready, I will never be ready."

"If anyone has atoned, it is you," said Lupin. "I know your life for the past seventeen years has been purgatory. If that is not penance enough, I don't know what is."

"It is not enough," Snape said. "It is never enough." He placed a pale hand against his chest. "I carry it in here. You were right about that, Remus, I could not have run away from it." He stared into his mug. "I think perhaps, it would have been better if I had died."

"No!" Lupin said. "Don't say that!"

Snape smiled. "But then, who would take care of you, my friend."

Lupin smiled back. "You are needed, Severus. And wanted."

Snape raised his mug, staring at the low level of butterbeer that remained, then took another swallow. "We should all be locked up with we're seventeen," he said. "Maybe when we're fifteen."

Lupin gave a laugh. "Fortunately, few seventeen year olds have the opportunity to see their fantasies for improving the world put into place. That was your real misfortune. Otherwise, you'd have simply grown out of it." He looked directly at Snape. "And you would have." He looked wistful. "What a world that might have been, if there had been no Voldemort."

"If it weren't for people like me," Snape said, "people willing to listen to him and to follow him, there still would have been no Voldemort."

"Then we must make sure that we never listen to anyone like him again," Lupin said. "I think you are the last person now who would do so." He smiled. "I heard that when Karkaroff tried to denounce you to the Wizengamot, all those years ago, Dumbledore said that you were no more a Death Eater than he was. I know he wouldn't have said that if he didn't believe it with all his heart. If you had Voldemort, you also had Dumbledore." He nodded his head. "You are in a very unique position, Severus. You have been very closely acquainted, even intimate, with the two greatest wizards of this age." He wiggled his eyebrows. "You should write a book."

Snape snorted, splattering butterbeer.

"James always used to do that," Lupin said, wistfully. "He'd save his best jokes for when people were drinking, just to watch it come out your nose."

Snape glared at Lupin, but it was the reflex glare; from Snape, it was practically affectionate. Then he turned to the fire. "And where do we go from here?" he said. "I never thought I would be alive to see this through."

Lupin followed his gaze and shrugged. "Right now, there is work. There is too much to do. There will be time enough later to worry about our futures."

Snape nodded. "I suspect Poppy will have a list for me tomorrow." He stared into the fire again, and then said, "You may stay here, if you like."

It's his way of asking, Lupin thought. "Thank you," he said. "I think Madame Pomfrey would find that acceptable." He grinned. "I'll raid the kitchen at Hogwarts for us for meals, and get the news."

Snape nodded. "There is a second bedroom upstairs." He frowned. "Your old friend Wormtail was the last to use it, but I expect it's still a bearable place."

Lupin stiffened. Peter was dead now, too, he knew.

Snape nodded, as if reading Lupin's thoughts. "We are the only ones left now, you and I." He made a face. "A few of my gang are on their way to prison, I expect, but it's the same thing."

Lupin considered. "It almost makes it an obligation, for us to stay alive. Just for the sake of the others."

Snape made a face again, then he relaxed. He raised his mug with its last swallow of butterbeer. "To tomorrow, then. And the work we have to do."

Lupin raised his own mug. "And to life, and hope." He watched Snape make yet another face, but he'd expected that.

They both swallowed the last of their mugs. Then they rose, Snape doused the fire, and the lamp light, and they made their way upstairs, to rest.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Practically Brothers – Epilogue

Chapter: 5

Author: ReeraTheRed

Date: August 13, 2007

Rating: PG13

Summary: Post Deathly Hallows. Lupin and Snape both survived and re-new their friendship from Practically Brothers.

Disclaimer: Everything here belongs to J.K. Rowling.

Acknowledgements: Thanks to my friends Mandrill, Patti, Michelle and Renee for beta-reading.

As always, thanks for the reviews. I'm amazed at the range of feelings and alliances people feel for all the characters – it's all over the map.

A/N: I've definitely left the world of The Wounded behind; this fic is going to stand on its own - well, as a sequel to Practically Brothers (yes, I know, Brothers is kind of AU now – with every book, we have to re-think Snape).

I'm not going to re-do things I've already done, so, unlike in The Wounded, this Snape wants to live, or at least does not want to die (not quite the same thing).

* * *

Chapter 5

Lupin paused as he passed the infirmary. It was barely past dawn, but Madame Pomfrey was already up, making her way around the beds, wrapped in an old dressing gown.

He began to turn away, but she saw him, and called out, "Remus, come over here."

His legs were already obeying before his brain even registered the question. "Sit" she said, gesturing at a nearby stool, and he did so, and watched while she made the usual passes over him with her wand. "Much better," she said, pouring out a potion and handing it to him. "Where's Severus? I want to check him over as well."

"I don't think he'll come," said Lupin. "I think he wants to avoid people for the next few days."

She frowned. "I guess I can't blame him for that. But I need to see him. He's in the Potions dungeon?"

Lupin nodded. "I just left him. I came up to scrounge some breakfast."

"Right then," she said. "I'll catch him later today. Make sure he doesn't over-do things."

"I think he's glad for the work," Lupin said. "He needs something to do."

She looked at him, and smiled. "There are all kinds of remedies. Not all of them come out of a Potions bottle."

He smiled back, before he stood up, and left her.

Further along the maze of corridors he spotted Minerva. She must be heading down for an early breakfast, he thought. He smiled and waved, and she called his name and came over.

"Severus has barricaded himself in the Potions lab," Lupin said, guessing her question. "He's avoiding people for now."

She nodded, as if to say she wasn't surprised. "I do need to speak to him. He's still the Headmaster, after all."

Lupin shook his head. "I think he's abdicated that position for good. He'll be very happy to know you're taking over." He looked at her directly. "Will there be trouble for him? We may all know that he was never a traitor, but he must still seem a criminal to the world at large."

"That's right, you haven't seen . . ." She fussed around in her robes. "Here, take them, I have extra copies." She handed Lupin a stack of newspapers. "That's the Prophet and the Quibbler for the past few days," she said.

Lupin looked at the top copy of The Prophet, and saw, in enormous, blinking letters, "Dark Lord Defeated" and "Voldemort Vanquished." An enormous photo of an embarrassed Harry took up nearly the whole front page.

"That was the special edition they ran two days ago," Minerva said. 'But here, look at yesterday's edition, down here." She pulled out another edition of The Prophet, and pointed at an article in the lower right hand corner. Lupin saw the same photo that had been used for the wanted posters of Snape last year, above the title words "Snape Exonerated." Below, in slightly smaller type, "'He was never Voldemort's'' said Harry Potter," and in the article below, he saw saw the words "'Severus Snape was working on my orders,' Albus Dumbledore told this reporter from his portrait in the Headmaster's Office."

"There will have to be a formal inquest," Minerva said, "but that will be to get everything into the public record. He'll have to be questioned, I'm sure the Aurors will have a lot to ask him. But he's been through it before. It won't be for a while, though; they're having enough trouble now just getting the Ministry back on its feet."

They came to a crossing – one way led to the Great Hall, the other to the kitchens. Lupin stopped, preparing to turn one way, while Minerva took a step in the other. She stopped. "Remus, what about you?"

He shrugged. "I'll live as I always have."

She looked at him with concern. "Stay here, for a while."

He smiled back at her, just as sadly. "I'm still a werewolf, Minerva. I'm still just as dangerous. There are students here, and the full moon is approaching."

"Bother that. Severus will make the Wolfsbane Potion for you," she said.

"It's still too dangerous," Lupin said. "Nothing has changed."

She shook her head. "Then stay as long as you can."

"I'm staying with Severus, for now," he said.

"Good. That's even better. He needs looking after, and he can look after you in return."

He smiled, and then each turned and walked on.

I'll go by the Great Hall later today, Lupin thought. I have to see Dora. And that thought caused a spasm of pain to run through him. He'd been avoiding it, he knew, trying to find other things to think about, but he had to face her.

But not now. He had the living to think of now. And he would also visit Teddy today, too. That would help.

He was walking out of the kitchen, a basket under his arm, when he nearly bumped into another figure outside. Glasses, a shock of black hair, and a surprised pair of green eyes, and he realized it was Harry.

Each stepped back, staring at the other, and then the next thing Lupin knew, Harry had his arms locked around him, his head pressed against Lupin's shoulder, and Lupin's own arms were as tightly wrapped around Harry. Lupin felt warm tears on his cheeks.

It was a long moment before either loosened his grip on the other, and they stood apart again. Neither said anything, they just looked at each other, Lupin's gentle brown eyes meeting Harry's glowing green. Harry's face was transfixed with joy, and Lupin knew his own face could not look much different.

"Remus," Harry said, "I saw you dead, I thought you were gone forever, you were walking with me, that night."

"It's hard to kill a werewolf," Lupin said. "We don't stay dead."

"Remus," Harry said, hurriedly, "I didn't mean it, when I sent you away, I didn't mean what I said. I never thought -"

"I know," said Lupin. "But I'm glad you said it. I needed to hear it." He grimaced. "All my life, I've felt that I've been nothing but a terrible burden to all my loved ones. I need reminding that people find me worth having in their lives."

"Of course we do!" Harry said, gripping Lupin's arm. "I went to see you yesterday, in the infirmary, but you were still asleep."

"I've been ordered to rest," Lupin said. "I'm keeping a low profile for now. Werewolves are still not welcome – not with Fenrir Greyback around."

Harry nodded, then shrugged. "I'm keeping a low profile myself. Neville and I have our old Gryffindor room to ourselves right now – I'm sneaking in to get us some breakfast. Want to join us?" He only then seemed to notice the basket on Lupin's arm. "Oh, but . . ." Understanding flashed in his eyes. "You're with Snape, aren't you?"

Lupin nodded. "Yes, Harry."

"I heard he was still alive," Harry said. He pursed his lips for a moment, then looked at Lupin. "I've got to see him."

"I don't think he's ready for that yet, Harry," Lupin said. I don't know if he will ever be ready, Lupin thought to himself.

"I thought he was dead," Harry said. "I left him there, I should have thought to get help for him."

"I think he intended you to think he was dead," said Lupin. "And you had no time to spend taking care of him."

Harry was shaking his head. "I've got to thank him."

"I'll tell him," Lupin said. "I think that will mean something to him."

"Is he all right?"

Lupin shrugged. "He seems himself."

Harry shrugged back, then sighed, and nodded. "Ron and Hermione are coming by later this morning. They'll want to see you, too."

"I'll want to see them as well," Lupin said, smiling. "Go on, you need to get Neville his breakfast. And I've got to bring this." He nodded at his basket.

Harry nooded, and was reaching a hand toward the pear in the painting, as Lupin continued down the corridor.

Cesspit fumes hit Lupin's nose as he opened the door to the Potions dungeon. Snape had every available flat surface covered in cauldrons and glassware of every imaginable shape and size. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, and he made delicate little waving motions with his wand, or added ingredients a pinch at a time while Lupin closed the door behind him.

"I've got breakfast," he said. "I'm not taking anything out here, though, I'll set it up in the office. Come on up when you've reached a stopping point."

Snape grunted.

Lupin carried his basket up the stairs. The office was neat and comfortable – Professor Slughorn would have kept it that way and wouldn't mind their intrusion. A wave of Lupin's wand brought two overstuffed chairs close to a little table, and Lupin set out the contents of the basket.

He wondered if Snape would think to stop what he was doing to come eat; he got very involved in projects. Lupin poured a cup of coffee and carried it over to the door; maybe the smell would bring Snape upstairs. Then again, he thought, who could smell coffee above the chemical atmosphere below?

However, Snape's nose, while not as sensitive as Lupin's werewolf senses, was very sensitive for a man. Whether or not it was the coffee, or hunger, or the desire for company, Snape soon appeared at the door and sat down in the chair beside Lupin, and took a long swallow of coffee.

Lupin pushed over the copy of The Prophet with the article about Snape. "It looks like it's safe for you now," he said.

Snape picked up the paper and read. Lupin watched him, but Snape's face showed nothing.

"Minerva gave me papers from the last three days," Lupin said, gesturing to the little pile on the table. Snape nodded.

"Madame Pomfrey wants to see you today," Lupin said. "She's quite insistent."

"I am much too busy," Snape said, not looking up from the paper.

"You've been very badly injured, Severus," Lupin said. "And she needs you. If you collapse, a lot of other people could suffer as well."

Snape made a non-committal noise, continuing to read the paper.

Lupin added, "The school is almost empty now. Most of the students have gone home. If you're worried about running into anyone, just make arrangements to see Madame Pomfrey during lunch or dinnertime, when everyone will be in the Great Hall."

Snape seemed to consider this, but made no acknowledgement. He bit into a sausage, took a swallow of coffee, and went back to staring at his newspaper.

Lupin took a deep breath. "I saw Harry."

Snape did not move for a moment. Then he gave a rustle of his newspaper.

"He wants to see you."

Snape stared at the newspaper.

"He wants to thank you," Lupin said, watching Snape closely. Did Snape blink? Lupin tried to read something in his face, but it had gone completely blank.

"All you have to say is 'You're welcome,'" Lupin said.

Snape gave no sign of hearing.

That's all I can say, thought Lupin, turning back to the section of the Quibbler he himself had been reading.

x-x-x

Lupin sat quietly with Dora for a time, but almost more as an obligation. It wasn't her, there was no one there to say good-bye to.

It wasn't until later that day, holding Teddy in his arms, when the baby looked up at him, and the soft fuzz of hair turned bright pink, that Lupin's throat choked, and tears welled in his eyes.

Andromeda stood quietly by and said nothing. I wasn't what she wanted for her daughter, Lupin thought. Merlin knows, I understand that. But at least the boy is safe. Andromeda had told him. Teddy wasn't a werewolf, they were certain of it now.

Part of Lupin was saddened to hear that. There would be no moonlit romps with his son, he would still be alone, there would be no one to share his exile. And he had to be careful. A child already infected was in no danger from him, but now he had to be as wary of passing the werewolf curse as he was with any other person.

But the relief outweighed the sadness. He would never have to see his child rip himself to pieces at the full moon. Teddy would never suffer from the physical weakness, the constant illness. He would be healthy, and strong, like his mother. He wouldn't be an outcast – and if Lupin grieved a little at having no one to share his fate with, it rejoiced that his son would escape that sentence.

He sat with Teddy for a long time, just holding him, while the child slept quietly, the soft fuzz of hair changing colors as the baby dreamed.

x-x-x

"Madame Pomfrey says to come see her now," Lupin read from the message the owl had brought. He looked up at Snape, who was fastening the lids on a series of cauldrons and bottles. "We can carry those up to her."

Snape opened his mouth to protest, but Lupin continued. "Everyone's in the Great Hall now; it's dinner time." I wish we were there, he thought, just to see everyone. And I'm sure Minerva is making announcements, and I want to hear what's going on.

Lupin took hold of Snape's arm. "Come on. You've been in here all day. We can grab something to eat on the way back." He picked up a couple of cauldrons by their handles.

Snape gave him the reflex glare, but he placed the remaining sealed bottles and smaller cauldrons in the basket Lupin had brought their breakfast in that morning. "Let's do this quickly, then," he said.

The two of them made their way through the corridors to the infirmary, where Madame Pomfrey was waiting. "Excellent," she beamed. "Put that lot in the stores, then come over here, both of you."

They obeyed, and she did her usual wand-waving over each of them. She clucked at Snape. "You need to rest. You'll wear yourself out." She poured from two different bottles for Snape, and another for Lupin, which each drank down.

From the infirmary, they headed on to the kitchens. Lupin realized he should have thought of it, after what happened that morning. But as they came back out of the kitchens, and stepped into the corridor from the door behind the painting, and turned to head back to the dungeons, around the corner up ahead came Harry.

He stopped dead. Snape stood just as still. Lupin thought he saw a sideways glare directed his way, as if to say, "This is all YOUR fault."

Harry was the first to move. He smiled, and walked towards them. Lupin felt Snape tensing, like an animal ready to run. He still can't see Harry as the boy he is, Lupin thought. He still sees him only as an object, a symbol, of Lily's death, of his own failure, and his own heartbreak.

"Remus," Harry said. "Professor Snape."

"Hello, Harry," Lupin said, a little too brightly. "Sneaking away for dinner, too?"

Harry nodded. "There are some Ministry people in the Great Hall. They're nice people and all, but I'm tired of being looked at."

"I don't blame you."

Snape stood like a statue, watching as Harry drew near.

Harry stopped a little ways away, and looked as if he was taking a deep breath, before he spoke. "Professor Snape," he said, "I'm sorry I left you. If I had known you were still alive, I never would have."

Snape drew himself up, his expression showing he was preparing a cold retort, but Lupin touched his arm gently, and he said nothing.

"Severus knows you would not have left him to die if you had known," Lupin said quickly.

Harry nodded. He looked at Snape. "Thank you, sir. For everything you've done. All my life."

Snape stared at Harry. Say 'You're welcome,' Lupin thought, just say it.

But Snape narrowed his eyes at Harry. "As usual, Mr. Potter, you think everything is about you. I did not do it for you. As you well know."

With that, he swept past Harry, and stalked down the corridor.

Harry looked at Lupin, who looked back helplessly. "I'll talk with him, Harry," he said.

"Will that do any good?"

Lupin watched Snape's figure turning the corner ahead. "Those memories he showed you, I think he gave you more than he intended. I don't know that he can bear that you saw as much as you did. That you know what you know." He shook his head. "You've made the first move, Harry. I only hope he can reach a point where he can accept it."

Harry stared at Lupin, and shrugged, as Lupin quickly moved to catch up with Snape.

Snape was waiting in the Potions lab, standing in front of the fireplace. "Quickly," he said. "I want to leave here." The unspoken words – to go where no one else could find him.

Lupin nodded, and followed Snape through the fireplace to Spinners End.

Snape was still agitated, though Lupin could see he was trying to hide it. He did not speak much as they ate, and it was only when they had finished, and he was sipping a cup of tea that he seemed to relax, as much as Snape ever relaxed. He feels safe here, Lupin thought.

They had agreed to retire early that night, as each was still a recovering invalid. But there was still a little time, and as they sat, sipping tea, watching the fire, Snape seemed to recover, stretching out his long legs, and breathing softly.

"What's on your agenda for tomorrow?" Lupin asked. "More potions?"

Snape stretched out a little deeper in his chair. "Some. Minerva also asked if I wanted to teach next year. There might be some problems with the Ministry over that, until I'm officially cleared, but she think she can get that taken care of."

"Defense Against the Dark Arts?" Lupin asked.

"No, Potions," Snape said. "Horace wants to retire."

"Will you?"

Snape shook his head. "I don't know."

"It's not a bad idea, staying in a familiar place, until you decide what you want to do," said Lupin.

"I think, given the last year, that it would be better if I break with Hogwarts," said Snape, "at least for a time."

"I'm sure Kingsley would give you some kind of Ministry position," Lupin said. "A consultant for the Auror Division, perhaps."

"He hasn't approached me, if that is the case." Snape looked at Lupin. "Minerva wants you for the Defense Against the Dark Arts position."

Lupin shook his head. "No. I already spoke to her this morning."

"She thinks you're not being reasonable," said Snape.

"She forgets the danger because she is fond of me," said Lupin. "What do you think, Severus? You were certainly against it before."

Snape grimaced. "My opinion then was . . . colored by my personal feelings toward you at the time."

Lupin gave a rueful smile. "As was mine, of you. Did I ever apologize to you for Neville's Boggart?"

Snape frowned, then sighed. "I deserved it. That boy frustrated me no end, but I should not have lost my patience with him to such an extent."

"I think you secretly enjoy being the students' greatest fear," Lupin said.

"Better me than some other things I can name," Snape said, in an evil tone.

"Actually," said Lupin, "this last year, I suspect they considered you as great a terror as they would ever face, short of Voldemort himself." He tilted his head. "Hopefully, they are all revising that thought now."

"All the better reason I should not teach at Hogwarts next year," Snape said.

Lupin shook his head, and yawned. "There's still time to think about it," he said. "I can't believe it's only been, what, two, three days since it all happened." He sat up, preparing to stand. "I think I'm for bed," he said. "You, too, or Madame Pomfrey will have my head."

Snape's hands gripped the chair, preparing to stand as well.

Then the fireplace began to sputter, and green flames shot up.

"Who -" said Lupin.

Snape stood up sharply in alarm. "No one but you or I should be able to come through. I have blocked anyone else from coming." His wand was already out, pointed and ready at the fireplace.

A form materialized, and Lupin was astonished to see Harry standing in the midst of the flickering green flames.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Practically Brothers – Epilogue

Chapter: 6

Author: ReeraTheRed

Date: August 13, 2007

Rating: PG13

Summary: Post Deathly Hallows. Lupin and Snape both survived and re-new their friendship from Practically Brothers (which I know is AU now, but I'm not going to re-write it).

Disclaimer: Everything here belongs to J.K. Rowling.

Acknowledgements: Thanks to Mandrill, who gave this twist her approval. And thanks to Mandrill, Patti, Michelle and Renee for beta-ing.

A/N: Warning – this is really, really sappy. I'm not kidding.

* * *

Chapter 6

Harry stepped out of the fireplace, brushing soot off his clothes. His hands were dirty, Lupin noted, and there were muddy spots on the knees of his jeans.

"What are you doing here?" Snape spat out the words, his face contorted in fury.

"I followed you here," said Harry. He shrugged. "Hermione told me how to do a trace through the floo network."

"Did she teach you how to maneuver past blocks as well?" Snape said. He still had his wand out, and it was still pointed at Harry.

"No," Harry said, his face looking puzzled.

"Perhaps you did not want to block him after all," Lupin said softly. "Perhaps it's because he's of Lily's blood." He gently touched Snape's arm, pushing it down. Snape let him, but his eyes remained fixed on Harry.

"You do not have my permission to be here, Potter," he said. "Leave now."

"I have something for you, sir," said Harry, stepping closer. Snape stepped back, but his eyes did not waiver from the boy's face.

"I thought this should be hidden forever," Harry said. "I left it in the Forbidden Forest. But I realized it wouldn't be safe there, and I thought it would be best if I took it to the Ministry instead. They can protect it in the Department of Mysteries. There's a Ministry official waiting back at Hogwarts for this now." He reached a hand into his pocket. "But I thought," he looked a little shy now, "I thought, you should have it, for a little while. Before I hand it over."

"What are you blathering about, Potter?" Snape said, staring. "I want nothing from you."

"This," said Harry. He pulled his hand out of his pocket, and held it out. Lupin saw something small in his outstretched palm, something partly black, partly metallic. A ring, he realized. A ring with a large, dull black stone. And then he remembered.

Snape stared at it.

"It's one of the Deathly Hallows, Severus," Lupin said quietly. "The ring of the dead." He felt drawn to it; it had summoned his spirit, only a few nights before.

Harry held the ring out to Snape. "The curse is gone. I know that's what killed Dumbledore. I wish he'd been able to use it, too. I know that his sister would have told him she forgave him."

Harry took a step closer, and Snape did not back away; he kept his eyes fixed on the ring. He looked down at his own hand, and realized his wand was still in it. He slipped the wand back in his robes, but did not move to take the ring from Harry. His face looked even paler than normal, a dead white against his black robes and the shadows of the room.

He's afraid, Lupin thought.

Lupin stepped forward and took the ring from Harry's outstretched hand. He turned and took hold of Snape's hand. Snape flinched, but did not pull back, and Lupin placed the ring into Snape's palm and folded his long fingers around it.

Snape stared at his hand, but did not move.

"I'll wait back at Hogwarts," Harry said, in a quiet voice.

"I'll bring it to you," Lupin said. Harry backed into the fireplace, and was gone in a flash of green.

"I'll wait upstairs, Severus," Lupin said. "I'll come down later and take the ring back to Harry."

Snape still did not move. Lupin looked at him for a long moment, then pulled open the bookcase-door and walked up the narrow staircase. He listened, but he could hear nothing.

But when he reached the little bedroom, and sat down, he felt a sudden hush, and a tugging inside him. He's put the ring on, Lupin thought, closing his eyes.

But he remained completely aware of the house around him. Through closed eyes, he could see it, every wall, every passage, as if it were made of glass. He could see Severus, standing in the room below, body as rigid as ice, but his heart racing.

Lupin felt a tug, felt himself falling forward, and down. My spirit has been called by the ring once before, he thought, will it call me forever?

And realized as he saw Severus standing below him, No, it calls those who love you, and who you love.

The house was transparent, he fell through the floor easily, down into the tiny, dingy room. But that, too, was fading away, the shadowy walls of books changing, the old wooden floor growing even more uneven, and when Lupin touched the ground, he found he was standing in a grove of trees. Beside him, where Severus had stood, there was a boy, very young, dressed in old and mismatched clothes.

The boy stood against a line of bushes, watching intently. Lupin followed his gaze, and had to turn away. He and the boy stood in shadow, but beyond the bushes and the trees was light so bright it was blinding. Lupin held up his hand to shade his face, and, blinking, he made out a playground. A little girl was swinging, pushing hard, making the swing go higher and higher, and she was laughing. Lupin's heart caught when he heard that laugh, he knew it all too well. He didn't need the little girl's bright red hair and merry green eyes to recognize her.

The boy watched with a frightening intentness, a longing, but he made no move to join the girl, as she swung, higher and still higher, until all of a sudden she launched herself into the air and flew, her arms outstretched, like a bird. Like an angel.

She circled overhead, crowing with laughter still, circled down and down, until she touched lightly on the grass. Only then did she turn, and see them.

"Sev!" she called, and she came running over to the trees. "Sev, I'm so glad you've come!"

The boy stared and said nothing, as she came into the grove, and grabbed hold of his hands.

"I've missed you so much," the little girl said.

"I've missed you, too," the boy said. His voice caught, and Lupin could see that he was crying. "I'm sorry, Lily, I'm sorry. I understand now, everything you were trying to tell me. I wish I could have understood it all sooner."

"But you're here now," she said. "I'm so glad you came back."

"Can you forgive me?" the boy asked.

She smiled. "Of course. I always have. You've been so brave."

"I'm sorry, I was so awful to you," the boy said, gulping. "But I always loved you."

"I always loved you, too," she said. "You are my best friend, and it broke my heart to lose you."

"I want to come with you," the boy asked. He glanced out into the brilliant sunlight. "Can't I come with you?"

"No," she shook her head. "Not yet." She looked into the boy's dirty face. "But I'm always with you. I've been with you all this time. You just haven't seen me."

The boy shook his head.

She laughed. "I'm in Harry." She looked over the boy's shoulder, and smiled and winked at Lupin. "I'm in Remus." And then she placed her hand on the boy's chest. "And I'm in you, if you'll only look." She touched her own chest. "And you're in here. Always."

"Always," the boy breathed.

"We carry the ones we love with us," she said. "They never leave us."

The boy gulped, a stifled sob, his eyes fixed on hers.

She smiled at him again. "There is someone else who wants to see you, too. I just came first."

As she said that, Lupin could make out a figure coming toward them from the playground, the light too bright at first to make out more than a vague shape, but it became more and more distinct as it drew closer. A tall shape, achingly familiar. It reached the shadows of the trees, and there stood Albus, not the ailing, frail old man Lupin remembered from that last year, but a hale and strong man, his white beard shot with silver, and his kind eyes sparkling.

"Albus!" the boy cried, and his form blurred and shot up, and Lupin saw a young man, in long black robes.

"Severus," Albus said. "Well done, Severus. I am so proud of you." And he reached over and took the young man by the hand. "Can you ever forgive me, for forcing you to do that last, terrible act of kindness for me?"

"It wasn't your fault," the young man breathed. "I always knew."

"But it was a dreadful thing to ask," Albus said. "I saw that look in your eyes, that last moment."

"I never hated you!" the young man said.

"But you hated what you had to do. As you have always hated what you had to do," Albus said.

"It was of my own making," the young man said.

Albus nodded. "I do understand. I have had to do terrible things, to undo situations of my own making. Or that I might have prevented." He looked deeply at the young man. "Do not make my one greatest mistake, Severus," he said. "Do not punish yourself for the rest of your life. Do not isolate yourself. Do not believe yourself unworthy of love. You are most worthy." He smiled wistfully. "If I had only known that, so many years ago." He looked beyond the young man, to Lupin, and Lupin heard the whispered words, And you, as well, Remus.

There was a sob, from behind them, deep in the shadows, and they all turned. Something was coming towards them, through the bushes and the undergrowth, something crawling through the shadows, crawling along the ground. Lupin could only hear the sound it made as it came, dragging itself closer. It wasn't until it reached their clearing, and pulled itself out of the shadows, that he could make anything out, and even then he had to stare to make sense of what he was seeing.

It was a child, he realized, with horror. A monstrous, deformed child. He saw its body and thought it only two or younger, but so mal-formed it could not walk, it could only crawl. Its flesh was mangled, bleeding. The face was blind, and as formless as a lump of dough. It crawled toward the young man, and the mouth opened, a red maw, and a pitiful, frightened voice said, "Severus!"

The young man stood stock still. Then he knelt down, and took the creature's hands into his own. "I'm sorry," he said. "I would have spared you this. I didn't know how." He looked up, first at Albus, then at the little girl. "Can we help him? What can we do to help him?"

"We'll take care of him," the little girl said, and she knelt beside the young man, and took one of the child's hands.

"You can leave him with us now, Severus," Albus said. "You can do nothing more for him." And Albus, too, knelt down, and took the child's other hand. "You can come with us now, Tom. It's finished."

"There's nothing to be afraid of," the little girl said. She and Albus both stood up together, each keeping hold of the infant's hand, and the child grew taller as they rose, until Lupin saw a little boy, with a handsome face, staring up, first at the girl and then at Albus.

The girl, too, was taller now, as she prepared to walk back into the sunlight. She turned over her shoulder, to give one last look to Severus, and it was the Lily Lupin remembered most, the Lily of that last year before she was killed. Merlin, how young she looks now, he thought, not much older than Harry.

"Thank you, my dear friend," she said.

And it was Severus, the man as he was now, who stared back at her.

"Thank you for protecting my son," she said. "Let him find me in you."

As she turned, Lupin thought she smiled at him as well. Then she, and Albus, leading the little boy between them, who grew more fair and well shapen with each step, walked into the sunlight, until they were lost in the brilliance.

The light beyond the grove dimmed, the trees closed in around them, until Lupin saw only walls, and realized he was back in the little upstairs bedroom.

It's over, he thought. They've gone. The house felt the more empty for their absence. He sat for a long moment, staring at the walls, then forced himself to stand up, and step quietly down the stairs, and push the door open.

Snape sat in his chair, staring into space. The ring lay on the table beside him.

"You were there," he said.

Lupin looked at him. "Yes," he said.

Snape did not answer.

"I'll take this back to Harry," Lupin said as he picked up the ring. For one moment, he thought, I could put it on. To see Dora, one last time. And realized he didn't need to. He had no last words he needed to say to her, or to hear from her. It was as Lily had said. She was with him, in him, and in Teddy.

Snape did not answer. Lupin didn't expect him to. But as he stepped to the fireplace, he heard Snape say, "Wait. Let me." He stood up and moved beside Lupin at the fireplace. Lupin nodded and handed him the ring, and followed him back to Hogwarts.

Harry sat waiting in the Potions dungeon. He looked up sharply as the green flames appeared in the fireplace, and watched patiently while Snape, and then Lupin stepped into the room.

Snape stared for a long moment at Harry's face. Can you finally see her now? thought Lupin. I always could.

Snape held out the ring to Harry, and said, "Thank you, Mr. Potter."

Harry took the ring and smiled. "You're welcome, sir." He put the ring in his pocket. "I said it this morning, but I want to say it again. Thank you, sir. For everything you've done for me. For protecting me, for protecting my mother. For passing the last message to me." His voice dwindled off, and he looked a bit nervous under Snape's cool stare.

Snape gaze was locked on Harry's green eyes. And then he said, quietly, "You're welcome, Mr. Potter. Good night, Mr. Potter."

He turned back to the fireplace. Harry said quickly, "Professor Snape!" Snape paused and turned.

"Sometime, if you don't mind, could you tell me about my mother," Harry said. "You're the one who knew her better than anyone."

Snape looked at Harry. And then said, "Yes, Mr. Potter." With that, he stepped into the fireplace and vanished.

Harry looked at Lupin. "Is he all right?"

Lupin gave a shrug. "I think so. It's hard to tell, with him. But I'm glad you did this. It was a very kind thing to do."

Harry flushed. "I owed it to him. I owe him much more than that." With that, he left the room, and Lupin returned to Spinners End.

Snape stood in the room, staring at the floor.

"Come on," Lupin said. "We are both recovering. It's time to rest."

"Not just yet," Snape said. "Remus, will you walk a little ways with me?"

"Outside?" Lupin asked.

"You're dressed for it," Snape said. "I'll change, if you'll wait for just a few minutes."

"All right then," Lupin said. He stood, while Snape climbed the stairs, and in just a few minutes, returned, dressed as Lupin had never seen him before, in old jeans and a t-shirt, pulling on a worn jacket. Snape glared at him, as if daring him to make a comment. Lupin only smiled.

Snape opened the door to the street, and Lupin followed him outside into the darkness, lit only by the stars, and the waxing moon. Together, they walked along the broken sidewalk, to another street, and another. Lupin noted that, as they walked, the homes looked nicer and better cared for, and the streets were in better repair.

At last, they came to clump of trees. Snape walked into them, and then, out the other side, to stand at the edge of a playground. Lupin blinked, and recognized it as the one he'd seen just a little while ago, in Snape's – whatever that was, a vision, a dream.

"You lived that close to her?" Lupin said.

Snape nodded.

Lupin stared at the swings, and remembered the sight of the little girl flying through the air. "She was so young," he said. "Even at the end, I thought her such a grown woman, and yet she was barely older than Harry is now."

"Yes," said Snape.

I'll always love her, thought Lupin. But I don't think I could be in love with her anymore. Maybe it's that I've known first hand the difficulties, being with someone so much younger, the disconnection. Could Severus be thinking the same thing?

Snape stared at the playground for a long time. Then he looked for a time at Remus.

"I'll never lose her," he said, after a time. "But . . ." He stopped.

"I think she was saying, you can let her go," Lupin said.

"Holding onto her," Snape said, "that was all I had, to keep me alive. My revenge. My remorse. My regret."

"She says you have paid enough," said Lupin. "She forgave you long ago."

"It wasn't about debts," Snape said.

"No," said Lupin. "There's nothing wrong with loving her, either. As she said, you can keep her forever, in here." He held his hand in front of Snape's chest. "But understand, there's room for others in there as well. You don't betray her memory by loving other people. Any more than she ever betrayed you by doing the same." He looked into Snape's eyes. "She wasn't the only one who came when you called. When the time comes, and you finally pass over, may there be many people who come to welcome you, Severus."

Snape's eyes were unreadable, but Lupin thought he saw the ghost of a smile, and perhaps a flicker of warmth in that normally cold face.

The two friends stood together, in the moonlight, for a long time, before they turned, and headed back home, to Spinners End.

THE END

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_A/N: That's it for now, folks. I so appreciate the requests that this be a long fic (that is the BEST compliment ever!), but that's all that wants to come out – this is already a lot longer than I originally thought it was going to be. Thanks to everyone who has read this, and thanks so much for all the reviews._


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